The human being is an affectionate animal, who needs to relate, love and be loved. Under these premises we build families, social relationships and society. What happens to those cold people who do not fit into this reality? In most cases they are not understood and are seen as strange and untrustworthy people.
But what is behind this attitude? What are the causes of a cold personality? If you sometimes look in the mirror and ask yourself why am I such a cold person In the following UnComo article we will explain it to you.
Are you really a cold person?
Personality is not like eye color or skin tone, it is not something that is marked in our genes and remains unchanged, but rather what has happened to us in our lives, our fears, our experiences and everything that It has marked us and influences the way we see the world and how we function in it.
The way in which they have learned to show affection, traumatic situations that have made them close in on themselves, defense mechanisms so as not to be vulnerable, etc., the causes for someone to become a cold person can be many, however , it is not normal for someone to be cold always and with everyone, the human being is made to be affectionate.
If you think you are a very cold person or you think someone is, analyze your actions and your way of acting. If you look closely, you will notice that perhaps with small children or with animals you are able to show all the affection that you do not show to your parents or your partner. This happens because you do not allow yourself to suffer, it is something that scares you. With children or animals, you feel that you do not suffer any danger because they are not capable of harming you, while the rest of the world does see it as a possible source of suffering and you want to get away.
Being closed is not being cold
Sometimes we talk about very cold people when they really are people who are not capable of showing their feelings. Very few people are incapable of feeling anything, incapable of feeling love and affection. Most cases of “cold people” are actually cases of people with poor ability to express feelings or your emotions.
It is usual, contrary to what they show outwardly, that these people have an intense emotional life that they keep to themselves and that they are unable to show to the outside. When we say that a person is cold, we are talking about someone who is incapable – or who has a hard time feeling emotions. These cases are counted, so we advise you to examine yourself to clarify if it really is your case or, on the contrary, the only thing that happens to you is that it costs you a lot to open up and show your affection and your feelings with words or actions.
A childhood lacking in affection, a cold adult life
Love, affection, showing attention and emotions is something we learn over the years, by imitation and by repetition, looking at how the people around us do. That being the case, it is not surprising that the lack of affection in childhood and in the early stages of life is one of the main causes that you are a cold person.
It is very normal that when parents have not been able to show affection to their children, or they have not had enough time to be with them and show it to them, these children grow up with deficiencies when it comes to showing their emotions.
A child who has been deprived of affection is very likely, once adult, to be a cold and closed person, with many difficulties, not only to show their feelings, but also to decipher their emotions and give them meaning.
Fear of being hurt
Why am I such a cold person? Surely, if you reflect on how you are and how your life has been, you will find the keys to answer this question. Apart from the keys already mentioned, there is a reason that causes many people to shut themselves up and not show their feelings; the fear of being hurt.
The fear that the rest will not feel the same, the fear of being rejected, the fear of suffering emotional damage, the fear of not being accepted, all these fears make that person build a shell of cold and silence that they see as a way to protect yourself against these fears.
Many times, this coldness is a mask that over the years and habit has become its true face, although with work it can be reversed. This is the way in which they believe that the world sees them as strong and respectable, the way to avoid being harmed, not to go too far to meet anyone so as not to give them the ability to harm you.
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