There are some emotional and psychological states that we usually confuse. One of the most common is love and falling in love, emotions that are very similar, but have great differences that we have to know. Love appears when you know a person deeply, when you love him with his good things and his bad things; On the other hand, falling in love is the initial state, the attraction, the desire to know more about a person.
To better know the Main differences between love and falling in love, next we are going to analyze this topic in more depth, since it will help us to understand what each of these psychic and emotional states means.
What is love
Before getting to know the differences between love and falling in love, it is important that we understand the definition of love well. Love is a feeling that one person feels towards another who get to know intimately and personally. To love someone in the loving sense, you have to spend some time with that person, know their good things and their bad things and accept them to the fullest extent.
It is an affective feeling that connects you with another person and that, normally, appears by time, constancy and relationship that you establish among yourselves. Couples who have been together for a long time, what they feel is a deep love for each other, an emotion that unites them in a healthy and respectful way.
Characteristics and symptoms of falling in love
On the other hand, falling in love is another stage of love that is somewhat different. This is often considered to be the first phase of a love relationship, a previous moment that is characterized by feeling a great attraction, by having feelings on the surface, by feeling the typical “butterflies” in the stomach, and so on. It is that first moment of a relationship in which the other is idealized and in which you only see the good things that a person brings you.
We are in a moment of love in which the two people still do not know each other well; they know only one part, the good and beautiful part, the most “loveable” part. Over time, that torrent of emotions will subside and it will be then that either true love arises, or the relationship ends.
The characteristics of falling in love that are most common are the following:
• Desire for constant contact with that other person
• Strong sexual attraction
• Fear of feeling rejected or that the other person will not feel the same as you
• Thinking about the other person all the time
• Constant state of nerves
• Idealization of the other person
Differences between love and infatuation
Once we know the definitions of both terms, we are going to focus in more detail on the main differences between love and infatuation. Here is a list as a summary:
• The intensity of the feeling. It is one of the clearest differences between the two feelings. Falling in love is a very intense emotion that makes you lose concentration and even hunger. It is a somewhat obsessive feeling that can alter your day to day. Instead, love is a much more stable, calm and healthy feeling. You can live normally, make your life and share part of it with your partner. It is a positive feeling that usually implies commitment, respect and tolerance.
• The reason. When we talk about falling in love, there are many emotions that we live inside of us that, rationally, cannot be understood. We let ourselves be carried away by an impulse and a desire that is visceral, instead of thinking well about the things we do. On the other hand, in love you do not have to lose your rational point of view. Decisions are made in a more reasoned way and discussions can turn into debates or exchanges of thoughts; passion is more controlled.
• The importance of time. Another difference between love and falling in love has to do with the time factor. And, as we have already mentioned, falling in love is usually the first stage of love, the moment when you meet that other person, fall madly in love and lose control of yourself. But, with time, that calms down and that is when love appears.
• Idealization. It is very common that during the infatuation phase the people involved see their crush as an idealized person. The defects of the other person are not yet known and, therefore, it is common to have a distorted image of reality. On the other hand, idealization does not usually have a place in love and the other person is accepted as he is, with his strengths and weaknesses.